December 19th, 2011
Let Them Eat…Whatever the Hell They Want!
“Wow, I thought you ate healthy until I saw THOSE.”
A friend of mine was standing in line at the grocery store, when a douchebag in sheep’s clothing looked into her cart and seeing a box of cookies amongst her vegetables, made the above comment. When she sent me a text about it, I imagined being behind said dude and “accidentally” bashing his shins with my cart. Repeatedly.
Food shaming is prevalent all year round, but there’s something about the holidays that brings judgmental types out in force. They’ll look into your cart or at your plate or in your freezer and offer unsolicited treatises about your food choices as though anyone gives a damn what they think.
In my experience, there are three common food shamers/judgers who want nothing more than to make what you eat their business.
1. The Eyebrow Raiser
When ERs see the second brownie on your plate or watch you get up from the table for another helping, they don’t utter a word. They simply raise one eyebrow and give you that look. You know. THAT look. The look that says, “My goodness, I suppose it must be nice not to care about your health. Of course, it’s not any of my business, so I’m not saying a word.” Bonus points if the raise is accompanied by a self-satisfied smirk.
2. The Pusher
Second helpings {and thirds} are awesome if you’re in the mood, but when you’ve had enough and want to sit quietly while watching YouTube videos of news anchors accidentally saying the F word, The Pusher is the worst. “Come on, have some more. There’s plenty. Seriously, is that all you’re gonna eat? You’ll waste away. What do you mean you don’t want dessert?” It’s not uncommon for Pushers to accompany their exhortations with sighs about how many calories are in the egg nog.
3. The Constant Dieter
CDs know the calorie count in every holiday dish and treat. They’ve read all the articles about keeping the pounds off this season. They want badly to let go and just enjoy, but they’re so full of food shame themselves, they have to share it. “Oh, I wish I could have a piece of cake, but I’d have to spend a week at the gym. No, no, no, you go ahead! Please, you can enjoy it for the both of us.” Constant Dieters make you sad and blindingly angry in the same breath.
With magazines falling over themselves to treat food like a weapon of mass destruction and office parties and gatherings filled with delicious offerings, dealing with Food Shamers/Judgers can be tough. But it’s worth remembering that no one ever saved the world by refusing a brownie OR going for seconds. Your food choices are yours to make. Full stop.
You once said something to the effect of, “Unless you’re interested in what someone else is eating because it looks or smells delicious, you’ve never seen it before and want to know what it is, or they are choking, then you have no business making any comment whatsoever about what foodstuffs a person is consuming. Period.” And that’s pretty much it right there.
This guy was trying to be funny in a backhanded way, but he almost earned a backhand of his very own. Whoopah!
And there is one more type of foodshamer that often flies under the radar. I’m a relatively thin, healthy gal: I run a lot, I don’t eat meat, and I keep on the organic side of food. More often than not, I choose foods that are low in fat and stay away from junk food, simply because I don’t like the way I feel when I eat it in mass quantities. I love peanut butter, like, a LOT, so I choose the reduced fat brand.
One day at a previous job, I was happily spreading my 19th helping of peanut butter on some toast when a well-meaning lady I worked with saw me and remarked, “YOU don’t need the low-fat brand” in a tone that clearly had a touch of aggression. I smiled and kindly replied that I preferred it and went on with my lunch. She said a few more things about it before my silence drove her out, but every time she saw me eating carrot sticks or drinking from my big water bottle she would make some comment about me not “needing” to eat healthy because I am not overweight. Argh!
Oh, oh, oh! As though being thin means you don’t have to care about your health AND that people who are fat never eat healthy food. It’s a twofer.