Wordsole

These:

are sold at Baby Gap. They sell Boyfriend Jeans at the Baby Gap. Leaving aside the stupidity of the name Boyfriend Jeans for a woman of any age (Do lesbians have to pretend to love the peen when they wear them?), let us wonder at the ridiculousness of marketing them to toddlers.

Now, I’m not saying I haven’t had my own sandbox indiscretions. Hell, the summer I was two, a little boy followed me around, utterly enthralled by my Sesame Street bathing suit. But here’s the thing. It was all innocent fun. In this country, we’ve become increasingly invested in the sexualization of young girls. That’s not true, you say? Are you sure about that?

There’s a big difference between recognizing the sexual agency and autonomy of women and girls and exploiting it. I don’t believe Baby Gap is trying to harm women (Except those that work in their sweatshops.), but I do think that this kind of naming of things…this commodification of things that were considered adult and marketing them to children is sad. Not surprising. But sad nonetheless.

Grandpa GrumpyPants says, “Have a weekend, you ungrateful little snots. And stay off my lawn!”

I am a fan of snowboarding. I’d like to learn despite my general lack of athletic ability. As a fan, I admire Shaun White’s skill; the dude really is in another class when it comes to tricks and performance level.

So it is with great sadness that I must inform you that Mr. White suffers a rare affliction. Scientists are baffled and racing to find a cure before anyone gets hurt. Below, a picture taken during one of his “episodes.”

If anyone can explain why Shaun pees lighter fluid thus making him a risk at all bonfires and cookouts, please contact your local hospital.