Dear Diary,
Do you think I’ll ever have my very own Ouija board? One that doesn’t look all scary and dudish? One that makes me feel totes like a girl while I try to contact the dead? Cause I just want to know who’s thinking about me right now. From beyond the grave that is. I hope it’s Heath Ledger, cause he was, like, the sexiest Joker ever. My mom told me that if I’m lucky, maybe James Dean will say hi, but I don’t want to talk to some weird sausage guy. What’s that Diary? There is a Ouija board for me, the girlest girl who ever chicked? I want three!
It has been five years, FIVE YEARS, since Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt split up. I didn’t happen to know this info off the top of my head. Thanks to People Magazine, I won’t have any trouble remembering.
Why People still continues to frame Aniston’s life around her ex-husband is beyond me. She’s a movie star. She seems like kind of a cool chick. She’s had other relationships, and she rarely talks about her marriage to Le Pitt except when asked. It isn’t as though the tabloids and rag mags aren’t interested in Pitt’s romantic life, but there’s something off-putting about this kind of coverage.
It’s a throwback kind of attitude that defines a woman by her man, and it stinks. The way reporters write about her, you’d think Aniston was sitting around every night all, “I has a sad and my saddy sad clown face hurts me every night when I think of Braddy boy.” Ridic.
Also astoundingly gross? That they would run this story below one about the earthquake in Haiti. That is what is known as a sensitivity fail.
Be good.
Or the evil Easter Bunny of Hades will steal your soul! Seriously. I wish someone had told me.
I stayed awake the whole time, and that is no small thing. Christopher Walken appeared to be having a fantastic time. Even though it was a rip-off of Rounders (complete with unnecessary love interest, here played by the well-connected but boring Alison Eastwood), the lead is worth rooting for. Chazz Palminteri chews the scenery like he hasn’t eaten in months, and it is hilarious. The twist at the final moment works; it got me…okay, it’s not hard to get me, but still; it got me.
“I’d like to be Mary Poppins. Minus the kids.”
January 22 is Blog for Choice Day. The theme is “Trust Women.” I don’t have much to say except that I will always, always 100% be pro-choice. People, women as well as men, must have bodily autonomy. Women must be able to control their reproductive health. And the government needs to back off already and stop trying to restrict abortion and instead increase funding for sex education, pre-natal care, adoption services, and family leave.
I will always, always 100% be pro-choice. Always.
So, apparently, Robert Pattison is my kryptonite, because looking at this picture, all I could think was, “Gah, that beard is gross.”
So not like me.
Sometimes I just laugh at the sexist crap in the world, because it’s so stupid or lazy or obvious. Take, for instance, a recent comic from the strip Luann.
He’s mad. Because his car got fixed. By a chick. Bwah! That is some hi-larity right there.
I realize that the strip is part of a larger storyline, and I might not know the context of the joke, but the punchline is predicated on a dude being pissed at his car for letting a blonde lady fix it. How tired.
Did someone forget to tell Jessica Biel that she’s co-starring in Valentine’s Day, what will arguably be the most star-studded and worst RomCom of the year, and not Flashdance 2: Chocolate Coated Dreams?
A lot of bloggers are giving Drew Barrymore crap for wearing a dress with what appears to be sea urchins attached to it.
But I love it. Yes, I could live without the tumors growing out of her hip and shoulder, but normally plain beige is lovely here because of the beading and the cut is so flattering on her. Very old-school glamour.