Wordsole

because I could have sworn the people I love make me happy.

Also, CNN sucks.

Know what I love? Chocolate pudding. Know what’s weird? When the woman who works in the cafe encourages you to buy it because “you can afford it.” Not monetarily. Calorically. Apparently, my waist is small enough that I’m allowed to have dessert.

Repeat after me: chocolate pudding is for everyone. Unless you don’t like chocolate. Or pudding. Which would make you an anomaly. So…congrats on that.

I don’t like to talk about my weight. It’s a sensitive topic for many people, and I’m no exception. I try not to care. I try not to judge myself based on the size of my jeans. Or my ass. But since I moved out of my sister’s apartment, I’ve gained over 30 pounds. I never thought I’d be in the situation of gaining that much weight in less than a year. Every morning when I wake up and look in the mirror, I feel just a little bit like a failure.

So, I’m not sure why, but I am more moved to get in shape by the sight of men who are cut than women who are buff. Rocket Science, I know. But for serious, when you’re trying to motivate yourself to go for a walk or lift a weight that’s heavier than a Hershey’s Bar, you’d think that turning to women whose fitness you admire would inspire you.

Now for sure I am amazed by women who look like they could take on a tank. Jennifer Garner in Alias. Angela Bassett in . . . well, anything. Jessica Biel in Blade: Trinity (shut up! She looked really good.)

But these women inspire me in a metaphorical way. What has made me feel the need to get really ripped this summer is Ryan Reynolds. Gerard Butler. Huge Jackman. And not just because I want to have sex with every one of them. It really isn’t (just) a sex thing. Yes, they are beautiful, and I would like to do dirty things to all of them . . . preferably at the same time. But I find the male form inspiring to my own fitness and buffacity (I can’t believe I just made up that lame-ass word). Maybe the display of raw testosterone taps into something primal in me. Or maybe I just need to get laid.