Wordsole

I am happy that GB and her hunky footballer husband have found love and made a beautiful baby. I do not care what her opinion on breastfeeding is. Partly because it’s a personal decision and partly because breastfeeding isn’t on my radar.

She thinks there should be a worldwide law requiring breastfeeding for the first six months? Awesome! That’s stupid. She’s since backpedaled…sort of. In so much as she mentions opening a discussion. As though women’s choices in general and especially as mothers aren’t already scrutinized under the cultural microscope.

But here’s the thing. Even though I don’t agree with her on the issue, and even though I wish she hadn’t spoken as though her experience should be every woman’s experience, I am once again dismayed by the responses that seem to pop up whenever a famous woman dares to open her mouth.

Readers of the CNN Marquee Blog (Dear CNN, that blog is the opposite of news.) had a lot to say about Bundchen’s initial interview. I have no doubt many of the quotes were thoughtful expressions of frustration, but CNN chose to use the kind of problematic statements that shoot steam out of my ears.

“Classic ignorant statement by someone who is only known because of how she looks in her bra and panties…”

She is a model who is famous primarily for her work as a Victoria’s Secret model. She made some “ignorant” statements (though they’re not what I would call ignorant, more misguided and judgmental). Those two things? Are not related.

“It’s love that matters, not where the milk comes from. So, stop doing public appearances and magazine shoots, and raise your baby.”

Yes, it is love that matters. And love has zero to do with whether Bundchen or any woman chooses to work outside the home, provided she even has a choice.

“Do your own research but please don’t get your information from some model that just popped out a kid and now she thinks she’s an expert…”

Again with the that makes sense statement followed by the come on now, don’t be an a-hole statement. Yes, women should determine for themselves if breastfeeding is the right decision. But “just some model who popped out a kid”? How’s about we leave her profession out of it…and the phrase “popped out a kid.” Thanks.

This is a blip of a story that won’t play much longer especially now that Bundchen has apologized. But the reactions? Those stem from something deeper. Something ugly.

Oh, and as for a smart response, I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I thought the Ladies of the View (tm ABC’s marketing department of cliches) had thoughtful and reasonable reactions despite their anger. Which ranks with, “Hugh Hefner is my hero,” as the statement I’m least likely to make without a major personality change.

*I haven’t read anywhere that Gisele Bundchen breastfed for three weeks. Joy Behar probably confused her with Denise van Outen who said that she breastfed for three weeks because of concerns about the paparazzi. What Behar should have said is that none of these women’s choices are our business.

I saw this today:

Stars. As open to sexist slams as everyday women. Feminist win!

I watched 300 Monday night, and despite issues I have with the movie’s racial and gender politics, Gerard Butler is a star in it. Charismatic, strong, and even funny. Which, in a movie filled with bloodletting of various severity, is no small thing.

Ever since the release of the film, the man who would be king of the box office hasn’t released anything that isn’t a complete dud. (Okay, I will admit to loving P.S. I Love You. Shut up.) I figured I’d go back to some of the movies that started him on his path to 300 and the films that have stripped him of all the credibility the movie gained him.

Her Majesty, Mrs. Brown

His first IMDB credit. It’s a small part, but he’s great in it and not because he shows his hindquarters. Ahem, not just because he shows his hindquarters. It’s hard to stand out in a movie with Billy Connolly and Judi Dench, but anyone who thinks he can’t act should start here.

Tomorrow Never Dies

I had no idea Butler played Leading Seaman-HMS Devonshire in TND. It’s my favorite pre-Craig Bond film, so…yay Butler.

Blah, Blah, Blah, Bunch of Stuff I’ve Never Heard Of

Dracula 2000

Wowza. I know Butler had to eat, but come on. It’s a vampire movie with Danny Masterson from That ’70s Show and the least scary bloodsuckers since Bunnicula. GB scores back a few cool points by going head to head with Christopher Plummer as Van Helsing. Who wins in a fight between King Leonides and Captain Von Trapp? Serious question.

Doo Da Dooo More Stuff

Reign of Fire

GB’s involvement is overshadowed in every way by the mondo-uber-weirdo-machismo character that Matthew McConaughey inflicts on the audience.

Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life

This is a not great sequel to a ho hum film. Gerard Butler does horizontal pull-ups on the ceiling of his prison cell. Angelina Jolie acts bored and almost sleeps with him. That really is all there is to recommend it.

Timeline

Haaahahha. Hoo boy, this one is bad. But in a good way. Scientists jump back in time to try to save Billy Connolly (who stepped WAY down from Mrs Brown.) Gerard Butler gets to be all romantic times with a lady in olden times and the costumes and sets are fun. However, those of you thinking that the movie sounds like silly fun should remember two words. Paul. Walker.

Dear Frankie

You have not seen this movie. You should see this movie. Butler plays a The Stranger. Wait, wait, stay with me. A woman who has spent the better part of 10 years lying to her son about his father’s whereabouts hires Butler to play the part of Dad for a weekend. Maudlin sappiness ensues yes, but Emily Mortimer is lovely as the overprotective mother who does something desperate. And Butler and Jack McElhone as Frankie act like real people as they get to know each other rather than film cliches.

The Phantom of the Opera

Allow me a moment to speak directly to the man himself…Hey Gerald, sup? So, listen, I know it might seem like a good idea to star in a film as a disfigured man in love with a breathy, sweet-faced ingenue. Your agent might have even told you that it was Oscar material. Your publicist promised you magazine covers. Fire them. Fire everyone who told you this bloated, preening mess of movie musical would do anything but make you look like a putz. Cause you did, you know. Look like a putz. A putz in a mask.

Skipping ahead to….

300

GRRRRRRR. I’m making a Spartan face. ARRRGGGGHHHHH. And I’m done.

P.S. I Love You

Shut UP, it’s sweet. And Kathy Bates is wonderful and looks a lot like Hilary Swank. Harry Connick Jr.! Jeffrey Dean Morgan! Gina Gershon! James Marsters! Seriously, people. Spike from Buffy. GB’s role is small but pivotal. If the dude didn’t die, his widow would never have the impetus to go to Ireland and start designing shoes and make nice with her mom. Really, his death in this is almost as noble as his death in 300. Really.

RocknRolla

Haven’t seen it. Dig the title.

The Ugly Truth

I watched this…movie. I can’t think of how to describe it without saying awful things about the writers’, producers’ and actors’ progeny and ancestors. If the world was fair, everyone involved including Butler would have to spend a year volunteering at a local Planned Parenthood, or homeless shelter, or animal rescue to reset the karmic balance upset by this crap. Gerry, you make me sad.

Gamer

This movie is not about what I would like it to be about. An overly muscled man who thinks he’s a Spartan warrior, joins a D&D group, and convinces them to invade the local Jamba Juice.

The Bounty Hunter

Everything in my feminist soul wanted to go HULK SMASH whenever I saw the trailer for this piece of blech. King Leonides is looking pretty far away, dude.

I’m ending it there. At the apex of his career immolation.

You know what word I love and by love I mean loathe with the passion of 17 Justin Bieber fans? ETA: Just to clarify, I don’t loathe 17 fans of Justin Bieber. I loathe with the passion of 17 JB fans.

Slut. Listen to it. One syllable. A hard t on the end. It’s a powerful word. It gets thrown around so easily nowadays. If a woman is dressed too provocatively for your tastes? Slut. If a girl kisses her boyfriend and then wants to do more? Slut. If a woman exists who you don’t like and you want to take her down a peg? Sluttty slut slut slutenstein.

I keep thinking about the kerfuffle over at perezhilton. The man made the egregiously bad decision to link to a picture of Miley Cyrus getting out of a car possibly sans underwear; since she is 17, he could be in very big trouble for linking to child pornography.

Ooh, and I hope he does get in trouble. For the picture obviously, which is child pornography, y’all. I don’t care that she’s almost 18. I don’t care that she’s been wearing sexier outfits on tour and faux-lesbian kissing onstage. Her body? Not public property. And at her age, when someone decides to make it public, it is child exploitation. There has got to be a line.

But he also needs to be held accountable for every upskirt picture he’s every posted or linked to. He won’t, of course. When a woman of legal age is violated in that way, we don’t call it pornography. We just call her a slut. A dumb slut at that. The difference of a few months seems to make all the difference.

What frustrates me the most about this other than the ick factor is how quickly people wanted to condemn her for stepping out of a car. “Well, she knew what she was getting into when she got famous.” “She’s been dressing all slutty lately. What does she expect?” As though her personal choices are up for debate. As though she loses bodily autonomy because she wears a mini-skirt.

See, that’s the power of the word slut and the shame that follows behind it. The real issues get clouded. The real problems get muddied. Cause if Miley’s just a slut, then really, what’s the problem right?

Dear Kristen Stewart,
I understand that being famous is not without its tribulations. And that starring in what is arguably one of the most famous film franchises in the world with THE most rabid fan base must get ya down occasionally. Your time isn’t your own. Strangers are highly invested in your love life. You show up on the cover of every magazine under headers like, “Why is Kristen so glum?” and “Robert and Kristen…real life Edward and Bella?”

But worst of all, you have to deal with the paparazzi. If Dante had a level of Hell for people who sought fame at the expense of others, he’d fill it with photographers constantly shouting at you and taking extreme close-ups. You talking about how frustrating and even frightening it can be to deal with them? Makes sense. And you did talk about it. In Elle UK. However, in the future you should think about exactly what you’re saying.

Being hounded by the paparazzi? IS NOT LIKE RAPE. It is not even close. You know what is like rape? Rape. That’s it. There is nothing else that compares. Next time you try to explain how horrible it is to be you, consider what you’re adding to the dialogue. That word gets thrown around too much as it is when it’s not appropriate. How’s about you find another analogy.

Kisses and Vampire Bites,
Beth

It’s hard to talk about Will Arnett without slipping into hyperbole. When I think of him on Arrested Development or 30 Rock, the words amazing and fearless come to mind. He’s the kind of comedic actor who never once lets it slip that we’re seeing a joke; for that he is fantastic.

I’ve even forgiven him for guest starring on an episode of Sex and the City. Dude’s gotta eat.

That’s right. Mr. Ron Popeil was born today. Wait, you don’t know who that is? Crawl out from under the rock and gaze upon the man who revolutionized the as seen on t.v. business.

And before you mock him for his over the top persona and cheesy ads, consider this:

In August 2005, he sold his company, Ronco, to Fi-Tek VII, a Denver holding company, for US$55 million.

Wow.

Hey, you know who was stupidly good looking?

Betty White’s hosting SNL in May and showing up on talk shows right and left. She is everywhere and that is awesome. But I’d like to throw out an idea. Sure, Betty kills it on Craig Ferguson. And yes, the idea of her in a digital short with Andy Samberg is a fantastic hulu clip waiting to happen. But I think Ms. White is suited for a different kind of role. One that taps her effortless cool and timeless sex appeal.

Betty

meet James

Betty White. Best. Bond Girl. Ever. Let’s get this done Hollywood.

So, apparently, Robert Pattison is my kryptonite, because looking at this picture, all I could think was, “Gah, that beard is gross.”

So not like me.